It is what it is... and it's your past.

• "C'est la vie says the old folks, which goes to show you can never tell." -Chuck Berry and numerous other musicians that covered this song which was written while Mr. Berry was in prison for intent to commit a sex crime...

  This was said to me several days ago, followed by some ramblings about how he wouldn't be dwelling on things that are upsetting and thinking about the past.

  But I say this...

  That's because old folks are idiots. They're near death and merely trying to believe anything that will make them feel better about not doing all the things they wanted to.
  The past is really all we've got. The present the next second becomes the past and the future is always so unknown. I'm not sure I understand the idea of not thinking about the past.

  My sociopathic ex used to say this, "Bailey stop dwelling on the past because it doesn't define me. Let's just get in bed and we can both be in love again tonight." And he only said this because his past did define him and he knew it... and because he wanted to sleep with me which usually made me even more delusional...

  The past does define us god dammit, every one of us. Because that's all you've got to show.

  I don't believe someone isn't snorting massive amounts of cocaine in the path of ski runs off a Park City, Utah mountain trail map until their nose is clean... until "good behavior" becomes the past. I don't believe a husband isn't going to cheat on his wife again when he's mumbling that out of the side of his mouth because the rest is busy making out with his secretary... until loyal, selfless behavior becomes the norm.

  It's something like this key phrase I picked up from my father: Don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining.

  I'm not saying a specific past has to define us, but it will until we change our more recent past.

  Now most people know I'm not perfect... Honestly my past defined me pretty well in high school when practically no one was allowed to hang out with me because I got so drunk during off-campus lunch I vomited in 7th period sociology and I spent every night watching my mother watch me sneak out. I was a hellion, and I feel bad for the people that cared about me that were praying my life wouldn't be short and sour.

  But hey, I was a teenager... I got it all out. And now, well shit, I think I've proven myself pretty stable (loosely) and doing my best to make a positive impact on the world. But that took some time... Mostly college, when I was working my tuckus off to make the most out of that abysmally lazy journalism program when all the high school prudes were out getting fucked and skipping business classes so they could some day slog through life as some kind of manager at a soul-sucking corporation.

  In no way does this mean I have any idea what I want though, not a fucking clue. I'm passionate and raise my voice during intense philosophical debates on the regular, because I'm angry about the injustices that plague society based on a closed mind. That much I know is me.

  Sometimes I'd like to go back and make better choices; sometimes it feels like I've wasted a lot of time. But I wouldn't be this human being if it wasn't for my past. And I'm happy my past continues to define me.
  I spoke with the CEO of a payments startup today. He told me he's all been adventurous, even reckless, and that's really what it takes to start a business, to create something innovative, because you're likely to fail. But failure doesn't bother him... Some might call that negligent; I call that logical. Why should failure get us down? It's merely the small necessary step before success.
  Haven't you read any inspirational quotes recently?

  
  

  And in case you'd rather hear it from a genius and raving lunatic, here Mr. Hunter Thompson sums up what we should be striving for: 
  "The answer — and, in a sense, the tragedy of life — is that we seek to understand the goal and not the man. We set up a goal which demands of us certain things: and we do these things. We adjust to the demands of a concept which CANNOT be valid. When you were young, let us say that you wanted to be a fireman. I feel reasonably safe in saying that you no longer want to be a fireman. Why? Because your perspective has changed. It's not the fireman who has changed, but you."
  

  For more of this ingenious wavelength check out one of my favorite blogs-BrainPickings